Be Wise About Relationships

I believe with all my heart that God’s plan is perfect. As a young woman who fears the Lord, I need to be wise when it comes to choosing relationships, especially deciding on who I am going to marry. I feel that we don’t hear a lot on this topic. With this blog, I want to talk about three levels of relationships. I believe that young people can apply these fundamentals to their lives. The three levels of relationships are: the physical level, the soul level, and the spiritual level. 

The physical level, known as the superficial level, is when you base the relationship solely on physical attraction. For example, one can say, "she is good looking" or "he is good looking," " maybe we should get together." A lot of couples get married based on this level, not realizing that this will be a miserable marriage. They might say, "I can be in this relationship because I feel attracted to this person, and I really don’t care that we don’t talk much, connect on issues or have common interests, or that we have the same faith.

Next is the the soul level or "personality" relationship. A great example of this level can be seen in the relationship between David and Jonathan. 1 Samuel 18:1 states, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul." When Jonathan was killed, David lamented, “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan, you have been very pleasant to me; your love to me was wonderful, surpassing the love of women” (2 Samuel 1:26). Here we see an example of a soul level relationship. Of course, there was no physical attraction, nor a perverted physical relationship. This is the level where marriage should be. This level often requires little or no physical interaction.

Finally, the highest and deepest relationship is the spiritual level. In order to know the true thoughts and motives of a man, you must be in one (same) spirit. The apostle Paul stated, “For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him (1 Corinthians 2:11). As a couple, it is extremely important that both individuals have an intimate relationship with the Spirit so they can commune on a deep, spiritual level. Sharing the word of God with each other and praying together will develop this deepest relationship level. 

Let us be wise about being in the right relationship. I know God wants us to enjoy a deep relationship with others, especially as couples. The desire of our Father is that we enjoy a relationship that is connected in the same spirit. 


Nancy Calderon, has been involved in the church since she was a little girl. She accepted Jesus Christ as her only Savior at the age of 7. She is currently working with the youth and the worship team in her church in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She obtained her degree in nursing in 2013. God has given her the opportunity to be on 3 mission trips, where she served as a translator. She loves meeting people, and loves to learn and laugh.